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Cherishing behaviors are an especially insightful way to affirm another person and to increase favor exchange, a concept that comes from the work of William Lederer (1984). Cherishing behaviors are those small gestures you enjoy receiving from your partner (a smile, a wink, a squeeze, a kiss). If you think this idea has merit, consider exchanging cherishing behaviors with a partner—a lover, best friend, or sibling, for example. You would each make a list of, say, ten behaviors that you’d like to receive from your partner—on occasion and as is appropriate. Identify cherishing behaviors that are (1) specific and positive—nothing overly general or negative, (2) focused on the present and future rather than related to issues about which the partners have argued in the past, (3) capable of being performed daily, and (4) easily executed—nothing for which you really have to go out of your way to accomplish. Once you have each prepared your lists, you would exchange them and, ideally, perform the cherishing behaviors your partner would like. At first, these behaviors may seem self-conscious and awkward. In time, however, they’ll become a normal part of your interaction which is exactly what you hope to achieve.
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