One of the questions most frequently asked by readers of Affirming Diversity is “Whatever happened to ———?”, with the name of one of the case study students attached. In an effort to answer this question, for each edition of the book we have sought to find the students, some of whom were interviewed just four years before, and others nearly 20 years ago.
For each new edition, we have asked our colleagues and friends who first interviewed the students to try and find them again. Each time, a few are successful and we are able to provide an update on their lives. This year, the interviewers were successful in locating four of the case study subjects they interviewed from 4 to 18 years ago: Linda Howard, Avi Abramson, Fern Sherman, and Nadia Bara. Each has an intriguing story to tell about the course their lives have taken.
The first time that Paula Elliott met Linda Howard, Linda was 19 years old and graduating from high school. Although she had received a full scholarship to college, she left after just a semester because she felt lost at such a big place. Last time we heard from Linda four years ago, she was a paraprofessional in her daughter’s school, working as a one-on-one aide for a boy with Asperger’s syndrome. She said she loved that job and she loved the boy she worked with, adding, “He was like another child [son] to me.” She was dismayed, however, by how teachers “had their hands tied,” and she decided that rather than pursue a career in teaching, she would stay in nursing, the other field that she loves.
This time around—the fourth time they had met in 17 years—Paula met with Linda and her 13-year-old daughter, Laura, at the lovely home to which they had recently moved. The neighborhood they live in is extremely diverse, with people of every nationality—African American, Armenian, Dominican, Venezuelan, Irish Catholic, and more—as their neighbors. They love the diversity, and the children are happy at their schools. Married to a firefighter, Linda and her husband have two children, Laura, 13, and James, 11.
Like her mother when she was first interviewed, Laura is sociable, intelligent, and animated. She was an active participant in the interview, answering questions thoughtfully and enthusiastically. Near the end of the interview, she said, “I feel so good about myself right now! Somebody actually wants to listen to me and hear what I say!” Now a middle school student, she likes school a lot more than when she was in elementary school. “School was just something that I did; it wasn’t something I liked or looked forward to.” She now feels that she fits in very well in her middle school, and she’s doing well academically as well. Both she and Linda commented on how their recent educational experiences—Laura in middle school and Linda in college— were more fulfilling than previous ones because they were encouraged, and expected, to take on more responsibility and decision making for their education.
Both Linda and also Laura spoke about the subtle racist messages that are still prevalent in society, like, Laura added, “little messages saying, ‘We don’t expect much of you.’” For instance, Laura said that people expected her brother, just because he is a young Black male, to behave in particular ways. Linda added that one illustration can be found in the lack of positive models of Black families on television. Every time there’s a program that shows an intact Black family with two parents who love each other and try to do the best they can to raise their children, she said, the program is taken off the air, almost as if people would think “Oh, that would never happen!”
Now 36 years old, Linda was reflective about her college experience. Thinking back, she says she was not ready for college at 19. She became a medical assistant, a job at which she worked for 15 years before becoming a teacher’s aide. After two years as an aide, she decided to apply to college to fulfill her dream of becoming a nurse. Once accepted, she attended full-time for two years, just recently graduating with an Associate’s degree. She passed her boards and is now officially a registered nurse. This time around, Linda loved college, not only because she was older and knew what she wanted from it, but also because the community college she attended was small and had a warm and welcoming environment.
Clearly proud of herself, Linda was thrilled to be starting a new job as an operating room nurse, the nurse who she explained, is “basically in control of the operating room.” Both excited and terrified at beginning her new career, she said this job was both a “big step” and a tremendous responsibility. She also confided that she wanted to be a nurse because it was a job that would give her more flexibility as a mother. As she said, going to college was a hardship on the family, but “I complicated my life in the short term to simplify it in the long term.” That is, because she feels strongly that teenagers need their moms more than ever, especially in the crucial 3:00–6:00 p.m. hours after school, she is determined to arrange her work hours so that she can be there when her children get home from school.
Still very committed to her religion, Linda said that her ultimate goal is to be a full-time minister by the time she turns 40. At the same time, she knows that it is not easy juggling so many responsibilities. “I’ve grown to appreciate the struggle of trying to maintain balance in my life,” she said, and she is facing the future with purpose and confidence.
Diane Sweet first interviewed Avi Abramson in 1989. This was the beginning of an ongoing friendship between Diane, Avi, and his family. She has kept in touch with him through the years, reconnecting in person, in writing, or through the internet. When she got in touch with him this time around, he was living in Israel as both a rabbi and a rock musician.
Diane tells us that after graduating from high school, Avi went on to study at the University of Massachusetts, first as an art student and later through a major he designed himself that combined art, video, and photography. Avi described this program as including “all kinds of fun stuff” because his art incorporated various computer graphics programs. Becoming computer savvy helped him to get his first professional job as a scanner/Mac operator in the printing industry not long after graduation.
At college, Avi found a good niche for himself. He found that he could socially and spiritually fulfill his needs by becoming part of a number of Jewish organizations on and off campus. He also continued his intimate relationship with the community of the “Little Shul” in Talbot by leading the religious services whenever he came home during the Sabbath and holidays. In fact, until the present, he has never abandoned this tiny, mostly elderly community, even while he lives in Israel. Avi keeps in touch with the members of the synagogue via email or occasional phone calls and he leads their High Holiday services every year—now officially as an ordained rabbi.
Diane writes: “After earning his BA, Avi returned to Winthrop and filled his life working in the printing industry, keeping in touch as much as possible with scattered friends, painting, writing reflections and short stories in several journals, strumming on his guitar, rollerblading, dating, making lovely Sabbath meals for family and friends, and spiritually leading the tiny ‘Little Shul’ community.” This period of Avi’s life came to an end when, three and a half years later, he was laid off from his printing job. At that point, he decided that the time was right to travel to Israel, something he had wanted to do for years. He decided to spend several years in rabbinical studies, which he completed in July of 2004. At the same time that he’s a rabbi, Avi keeps up with his love of music. He and some friends formed a band that plays spiritual/rock music and they have become quite popular performing in various venues in Israel. He has also continued to write, keeping a journal and communicating via the internet. His writing helped to open another door of opportunity for him: Recently, Avi began a part-time job as a freelance reporter for an English language periodical.
It should come as no surprise to readers of Avi’s case study in the first edition that he has grown into a thoughtful and wise man. To answer the question about special influences on his education, Avi says, “The deepest influence on my education has been my family.” He feels that his strong Jewish upbringing kept him from getting lost in today’s world in respect to his personal identity. He continues:
There are always journeys we travel to discover new parts to ourselves and changes we always go through, but it’s what we learn from the earliest of ages that we carry with us and use most in our lives. The rest is just trying to improve and fix ourselves to make the world a better place.
Avi’s advice for today’s students is
Don’t think being yourself is who you see in the mirror. You must discover yourself and uncover the layers. Fight for the freedoms you believe in but always [balance] your desires with the needs of the community.
When she was interviewed by Dr. Carlie Tartakov for the first edition of Affirming Diversity, Fern Sherman, at 13, was the youngest student included in the text. Carlie has interviewed her four more times since then, once for each new edition. Fern is now 27 years old and, although she remains strong and sure of herself, after rereading her old interview from 14 years ago, she thought she had been “snotty and mean,” or perhaps just “driven and a little antagonistic.” She marveled at how audacious she had been then, saying, “I was almost bolder then than I am now.” Having two children, she said, has calmed her down. On the other hand, she remains a fierce advocate for her children and for their education.
As you may remember from her initial interview, Fern was very close to her dad, who had single-handedly raised her and her two sisters. His influence in her life is still profound, although now there is now something of a role reversal in their relationship. He has had a number of eye operations and has been relying on Fern more than before. Only 52 years old and still very active as a researcher for a major university, his health problems have nevertheless taken a toll. Fern has been his constant caregiver as he has gone through this process. Given his role in her life, she is committed to “being there” for her father as he has been for her all these years.
Fern still lives in the Midwest, not far from Springdale, the community in which she lived with her father. She works for him, transcribing data from his tribal projects. Because her younger son (now five years old) had serious health problems when he was an infant, she took a leave from college to stay home with him full-time. She is now only six credits shy of graduating and is determined to complete her studies soon. As always, however, her family is her first priority, and, above all else, she wants to make certain to spend quality time with them. As she mentioned during her interview, her father did not really begin his own career until he was over 40, so she has time to follow her own dream.
The mother of two boys, Fern was expecting a baby girl within a month of this latest interview. Her ex-husband, the father of the boys, is reliably involved in their lives. For the past two years, Fern has been living with John, the father of her baby, who is African American. She has many things to say about compatibility across cultures. While she welcomes relationships across cultural borders—and she has had many of them since she was a child—she recognizes that they are sometimes fraught with difficulty.
Fern also has a lot to say about diversity. She finds that most schools give lip service to the concept of diversity, but when it comes down to actually doing something about it, she says, “Schools today are trying to mold everyone to be alike. [So], what does ‘diversity’ mean? Diversity to me is wonderful . . . but if you don’t keep who you are, that’s not diversity.” Fern believes that schools have not changed a great deal since she was a student. For example, she commented that her older son, eight years old, has never been asked to speak about his heritage at school, and for every Thanksgiving he has been in school, he has been treated to the same old one-sided curriculum about this event. Nevertheless, she feels that it is her responsibility as a parent to inculcate her family’s values in her children. She takes her boys to all the local pow-wows and she talks with them about their heritage whenever the occasion arises. In everything she does, Fern is resolute about providing her children with the same kind of role model of strength and character that her father gave her.
Nadia, now 17 years old, was first interviewed four years earlier by Dr. Carlie Tartakov. This time around, she was just about to start her senior year of high school and she was giving a lot of thought to college. Unlike four years ago when she had dreams of pursuing a career in film or art, she says she is now more “realistic” and looking at other options. At the same time, she wants to focus on areas that she likes, such as science and math, so that she can plan a career that she will enjoy. These decisions are in the future, however, as she has yet to decide what specific path she wants to take.
One big change in Nadia’s life is that her older sister, Layla, who she still calls her “best friend,” finished college and is now living on her own. The adjustment was a difficult one for Nadia because she used to depend on Layla a great deal. For instance, although Nadia has close friends, she always felt so different from them in terms of lifestyle and family rules, but when she came home, she could be with Layla and “kind of get my bearings again.” One benefit, though, of being the only daughter at home is that Nadia says she’s more independent. Another is that her parents, having successfully raised one daughter, have given Nadia a few more privileges. In spite of this, Nadia is still not allowed to date.
Last time she was interviewed, Nadia felt marginalized because of 9/11. She no longer feels quite the same way, but she pointed out that when she was in eighth and ninth grades, she was quick to say,
“I can speak Arabic and I’m Muslim and I was really proud of it—and I’m still proud of it. However, now it’s become more [that] I try to talk about other things before I talk about that. It’s become more of a sensitive topic to talk about so my friends and I, we never talk about it anymore. We don’t talk about it anymore because a lot of my friends have a lot of political views . . . especially with the [2004] election. They know that a lot of the stuff hits home for me.”
Nadia said, for example, that three of her best friends were completely in favor of the war, unlike Nadia and her family. She would feel uncomfortable in friends’ homes when the war was discussed, and her friends would likewise feel uncomfortable in her home when the war was the topic at hand. Because they felt that no minds would be changed by discussing it, she and her friends decided to never talk about the war or what she called other “worldly” issues. Even her history teacher, Nadia said, just “skimmed over” the Gulf War because it was still too hot a topic. Initially, Nadia thought this was probably the best policy. She compared it to the situation when her class studied slavery, with pictures of lynchings and other such inhumanities. She had an African American friend in the class who seemed very uncomfortable when these topics were discussed. But Nadia has rethought her position:
But then once we kept going, I thought ‘you have to talk about this stuff; everyone has to know about it.’ So, I would give [teachers] this advice: [teach about these things] no matter how uncomfortable it gets. I remember seeing [my friend’s] face and he was so uncomfortable, but he was happier inside, that at least it’s known, at least now everyone knows it happened. And the potential confrontation shouldn’t stop the teachers from going in depth and then showing both sides as well, you know with the new war, showing why we should have gone but also showing why we shouldn’t have. Because a lot of kids have no idea what’s going on so it would be a good idea.
It was clear that Nadia’s identity is still evolving, as it was four years ago, and that
being Syrian in a community where neither Middle Eastern people nor Muslims are
visible makes this a difficult process. She and her family still travel to Syria each
summer and Nadia says that “when we go to Syria, we’re not Syrian enough and
when we come to America we are not American enough.” In spite of this situation -
what she calls this “uncomfortableness”—Nadia is grateful to return to Syria each
summer, and then to return to the United States when the summer is over.
|