Case Book One

Remy is in meeting with Mr. and Mrs. Hwung, parents of daughter Sue Hwung.

MS. LEUS: Thank you for coming in Mr. and Mrs. Hwung. I am glad that we have this time to talk about your daughter Sue. Sue is such a good student. She clearly is learning and applying herself in the classroom. She is one of my best learners. She also has a great sense of responsibility, and really shows that she cares about herself and her workspace. She is always neat and tidy, and cleans up after herself.

MRS. HWUNG: Thank you Ms. Leus. We are glad to know Sue is such a good student.

MS. LEUS: Yes, she is a good student. However, there is one concern I have. Sue almost never talks in class. She does all of her work, but she does not raise her hand to participate. When she is called on, she lowers her head and speaks so quietly I can't hear her. I try to get her to talk louder, but she won't. I wonder about her verbal communication. Does she talk at home?

MR. HWUNG: I don't understand.

MS. LEUS: Does she speak in a normal tone of voice at home? Does she talk, like we are right now?

MRS. HWUNG: She was always quiet. As a baby she never cried out. As a toddler, I could never find her by the noise. She is just a very quiet child. She likes quiet. She does not talk at home unless we ask her. In our culture, children do not speak to adults unless they are asked. We don't expect her to talk much. When she does talk, she is very quiet, yes, very quiet. She has a very nice soft girl voice. This will be good for her as an adult. She will not stand out.

MS. LEUS: That may be true, and good for her at home, but it does not work in the classroom or school now. She has to be able to be heard. She has to be able to speak in a normal tone of voice.

MR. HWUNG: I do not argue with you, teacher. But, you are told she is a quiet child. Do you expect her to change her character and all she has been taught so far? She is quiet. You cannot expect that to change. That is how she is.

MRS. HWUNG: I must agree with my husband. We cannot ask her to change, to do something differently than is her nature. You tell us she is a good girl, a good learner. She is young. This should be enough, no?

MS. LEUS: Yes, she is a good girl, a good learner. She is very bright. I just want to know why she does not speak up. We all need to work together on this. We need her to speak up, even a little bit at first. I would be happy if she speaks so I can hear her from a foot away. That would be a nice start.

MRS. HWUNG: What do you want us to do, exactly?

MS. LEUS: How about if we all encourage her to speak a little bit louder?

MR. HWUNG: No disrespect, teacher, but we already told you that she speaks loud enough for us. She is quiet. We don't expect more. If you need this in the classroom, shouldn't you do it there, and not expect it at home? You are asking us to change how we do things, what we expect of Sue at home.

MS. LEUS: I am sorry. I mean no disrespect. I wanted you to know the situation. I have learned a lot. I will continue to work with Sue here. I do expect that by the end of the school year she will be talking louder. You may see that happen also at home.

MRS. HWUNG: We understand. Sue also understands. Whatever she learns at school will be fine for you. I am sure it will not change her behavior at home. She knows better!

MS. LEUS: Thank you for coming in today. I am so glad we had this chance to talk. Please tell Sue that I am pleased with her progress.

Teacher Notes:

• When you prepare to meet with parents, it is important that you know about their cultural backgrounds and what the expectations are within those cultures so that you can appropriately communicate.
• It is the rare circumstance that a teacher will start a conference with a parent and speak first about the problem. Typically, you want to compliment some aspect of the student's work, ability, or behavior before you get into the problem. This usually makes it easier to then transition to speaking about the problem.
• Teachers who talk to parents regularly, send notes home (that the parents can read), or even call parents just to compliment something that the students did will find it much easier to talk to parents about problems, and to enlist parental help because they have built communication and respect with the parents.