Lab Activity 6: Revision: Making Changes

Lab Activities
Lab Activity 6: Revision: Making Changes

Objective To identify thesis statements and develop support points and specific details.

Step 1: Read the following paragraph. In the questions that follow, number each sentence that belongs in the paragraph to indicate what order the sentences should follow. Indicate with a "D" the sentences that do not belong.

A Different City to Visit

An interesting American island that is unknown to most Americans is City Island. One might wonder why anyone would give the island such a boring name. During World War II, island companies switched to building submarine chasers, PT boats, landing craft, tugs, and minesweepers. The island has several yacht clubs, sailing schools, sailmakers, marinas, fishing boats, marine supply shops, and seafood restaurants. Some people will go to great lengths to find good seafood, and others simply hate it. Throughout the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, the island became a major shipbuilding and yachting center. Most visitors to City Island feel it is more like a small New England village than a part of a big city. New York is just too big and confusing for some people's tastes. City Island was first inhabited by the Siwanoy Indians, who came there in summers to dine on the abundant clams, oysters, lobsters, and fish they found in the nearby waters. Three famous twelve-meter sloops that successfully defended the America's Cup, the Independence, the Enterprise, and the Courageous, were built on City Island. The English settled the island in the late 1600s, and it became an important supply stop for schooners sailing between Manhattan and points north. This long, thin island is officially part of the Bronx in New York City, and it is located on the city's northeastern tip. Directions to City Island can be found on the Internet. But after the war, shipbuilders focused on building yachts. Today, City Island still has much of its nautical New England charm, and it's a great place to explore and have delicious seafood.

Using the pulldown boxes, match each item on the left to the corresponding item at right.

An interesting American island that is unknown to most Americans is City Island. A. 1

One might wonder why anyone would give the island such a boring name. B. D

During World War II, island companies switched to building submarine chasers, PT boats, landing craft, tugs, and minesweepers. C. 10

The island has several yacht clubs, sailing schools, sailmakers, marinas, fishing boats, marine supply shops, and seafood restaurants. D. 2

Some people will go to great lengths to find good seafood, and others simply hate it. E. 3

Throughout the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, the island became a major shipbuilding and yachting center. F. 5

Most visitors to City Island feel it is more like a small New England village than a part of a big city. G. 4

New York is just too big and confusing for some people's tastes. H. D

City Island was first inhabited by the Siwanoy Indians, who came there in summers to dine on the abundant clams, oysters, lobsters, and fish they found in the nearby waters. I. D

Three famous twelve-meter sloops that successfully defended the America's Cup, the Independence, the Enterprise, and the Courageous, were built on City Island. J. 8

The English settled the island in the late 1600s, and it became an important supply stop for schooners sailing between Manhattan and points north. K. D

This long, thin island is officially part of the Bronx in New York City, and it is located on the city's northeastern tip. L. 9

Directions to City Island can be found on the Internet. M. 6

But after the war, shipbuilders focused on building yachts. N. 7

Today, City Island still has much of its nautical New England charm, and it's a great place to explore and have delicious seafood. O. D

Step 2: The following paragraph is not credible because it is missing several specific details to support the topic sentence. (The topic sentence is underlined.) Revise the paragraph, adding specific details that support the topic sentence. You can make up the details if you like. Remember to make sure that your revised paragraph is clear and concise as well as credible.

I have always wanted to see Hawaii. I have read and heard about it. I am sure it's beautiful. I look forward to seeing the less populated parts of Hawaii. I love nature. I can see in my mind just the kind of Hawaiian vacation I would have.

Your revision:

To create paragraphs in your essay response, type <p> at the beginning of the paragraph, and </p> at the end.

Step 3: Choose the sentence that is the most concise, credible, and clear in the following group. [Hint]

Choose the sentence that is the most concise, credible, and clear in the following group. [Hint]

Answer choices in this exercise are randomized and will appear in a different order each time the page is loaded.