Eliminating Wordiness

Writers sometimes use too many words to express their ideas. Unnecessary repetition can lead to writing that is vague and overstuffed. Writers must clarify and reinforce their main ideas, but they should do so by using words that are vivid, specific, and concise.

Use these strategies for eliminating wordiness in your writing:

1. Choose vivid and specific words.
Make your readers “see” what you’re describing. Note how this overstuffed, vague sentence is revised with vivid, specific words.

A large number of birds were sitting up on a very high branch of the tree.
About fifteen robins perched high in the apple tree.

2. Be concise.
Pretend that each word costs a dollar. If one word has the same meaning as a group of words, be concise. Use the single word. Note how this overstuffed sentence is revised for wordiness.

Due to the fact that I have a very large report due during the month of July, I cannot accept further assignments at the present time.

Because I have a huge report due in July, I cannot accept further assignments now.

Which sentence is vivid and concise? As a result of his health problems, Mr. Cortiz should completely eliminate fatty foods from his daily diet. Mr. Cortiz’s heart condition should lead him to eliminate fats from his diet.