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Writing an Autobiographical Narrative
Writing Samples

pushpin.gifDescription of Writing Assignment
Write a narrative essay about a significant misunderstanding in your life. Think of a time when something that should have been joyful or pleasant turned out quite differently because you or someone else misunderstood an important piece of information. The main contrary should be the difference between what was supposed to happen and what actually happened. Use specific details to create character and setting.

pushpin.gifStudent Writing Sample

The Great Divide

     The bike was, I think, a 22-inch Schwinn. Brand new, green and white, with chrome fenders. It was not my first bike, but my first new bike. I had outgrown the 16-inch Huffy, a hand-me-down twice over, with wheels so bent and chain so rusted that I could barely outpace the little kids on Big Wheels. The new bike was beautiful, but trouble from the get go. The first time it got me in trouble was the morning of my party. My teenage brother had just finished tightening the last few bolts, and I'd barely had a chance to ride it up and down the block, when suddenly I had to be in the house because I was the host, the guest of honor. My mother had organized some stupid game, almost as bad as Pin the Tail on the Donkey. Naturally, I snuck out the side, hopped on the bike, and headed off down the block, the wind in my hair, and the green and white vinyl streamers fluttering from the handgrips. I hadn't even gotten halfway down the block before I heard mom yelling "Get back here this instant" so I could receive the "Is that the kind of manners I taught you?" lecture in front of all my friends.

     Fortunately, the party finally ended with enough daylight left to take the bike for a real spin, down the block, through the alley, and over the little footbridge across the creek to the infamous challenge to all genuine cyclists, "The Great Divide," that yawning chasm of a sinkhole left over from the terrific spring flood a few years back. It was the test of courage for kids of all ages. Could you jump it? On foot? On a bike? And how far out from the drain pipe? That was the challenge. Because the gap got wider the farther out from the pipe you went. Closest to the pipe, a ten-year old girl could jump it with a running start. A little farther out, that was for high-school boys on foot, or eighth graders on bikes. And way out at the far end—well, that was only for the most daring. I knew better than to try to jump it out that far, at least not on my first try. I was not really what you'd call a daredevil. However, I knew I could jump "The Great Divide" on my new bike, because I used to jump it on my Huffy. The question was just how far out I could go. So, I set my sights on good, mid-level jump, put everything I had into the pedals, pumping and pumping as fast as a could, and then, just at the critical moment, yanked up on the handle bars with all my might to get the lift I need to clear the gap, only to have the handle bars come loose in my hands.

     Needless to say, I did not clear the gap. No, I did not sink into oblivion or suffer multiple fractures. I just crashed hard into the somewhat forgiving sand on the opposite bank and was thrown over where the handlebars would have been if they were still attached to the bike. The bike, my brand new 22-inch Schwinn, suffered a severe bend to the front wheel. The rest of it was okay. Unfortunately, however, since jumping "The Great Divide" was a strictly forbidden practice, I could not even reveal to my mother that I needed a new front wheel, much less get her to assist me financially. And of course, my brother, whose negligence was mostly to blame for my accident, was no help either. Eventually, I managed to get it repaired, but for the first two months of its life, my brand new Schwinn was no faster than the Big Wheels the little kids drove.

pushpin.gifInstructor's Comment
If you had written this narrative essay, your instructor might write a response like this to your work.

     I really enjoyed your story. You did a terrific job starting it up and creating some tension with "trouble from the get go" claim. The narration of the party was okay too, but a bit thin in sensory detail or in any account of your eagerness to get on the bike and go. However, you do a good job introducing "The Great Divide" and setting up the challenge. Actually, if you choose to develop this piece, that's a place you could expand your treatment, by letting us in on the mental processes more as you calculate just how far from the pipe you are going to attempt your jump. Also, the whole piece ends a bit hastily. You did an okay job foreshadowing the mechanical breakdown, but since you end with the problem of having to live with the damaged bike for a while, the reason for that—the taboo nature of jumping the divide—should be introduced earlier, so the contrary between pristine new bike and badly damaged bike that can't be repaired easily becomes a matter of bigger significance. Still, I think you did a very good job on this draft.



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